Vacancy

Leyton & Wanstead MP, Harry Cohen, is to stand down at the next General Election. He wishes to spend more time with his family rather than filling out expenses forms. Applications should be submitted on a ballot paper to the electorate of the constituency.

Local Labour activists have denied that they are to re-brand their Party from NuLab to NoLab. While the Liberal Democrats are using the voting statistics from East Grimshaw [I don’t know where it is either] to show that "only they can win here", complete with [non-aspect ratio] bar chart.

Meanwhile, the Greens are lurking in the background planning a surprise offensive – putting forward sensible policies with a sensible candidate.

That's them fucked - Tory gain!